In a small temple lost somewhere in the mountains, four apprentice monks were practicing Zazen. They had agreed among themselves to remain silent for seven days. The first day of the exercise started very well, but when it got dark, one of the monks was annoyed that the lamps had not been lit.
"It was your turn to light the lamps," he protested to one of his colleagues.
He was surprised to hear him speak.
"Because I was concentrating on my silence, I forgot," he excused himself.
"But what are you doing?" said the third. "Why are you talking?"
"I'm the only one who didn't speak," said the fourth.
We find it hard to keep quiet, even when we've promised ourselves we'll be careful what we say. Because we tend to be influenced by external factors rather than motivated from within, we have a need to complain and apologize to others.
Consider how much of your daily communication is spent apologizing. This is partly because of a deep-seated 'categorical culture' and partly because we care too much about what other people think of us.
It's impossible to try to keep everyone happy all the time... It's important to remember that at any moment either I'm in control of myself or others are.
Only if you become completely indifferent to what others choose to think about you through their own belief system, then only you will be yourself!
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